I was told by a green thumb named Martin,
Who had old socks he used to fart in,
And then wear on his hands,
As he tended his plants:
“’Tis the key to my beautiful garden.”
A cocky young man started troublin’,
A judo instructor from Dublin,
Within half a minute,
She was back to her Guinness,
While the young man had copped a sound drubbing.
A seven-foot man from Zimbabwe,
Learned a boxing lesson the hard way,
If your rival is small,
Then cover your balls,
He cannot punch higher than halfway.
An entrepreneurial pastor,
Attempted to grow his church faster,
He put in a bar,
People came from afar,
But by the third hymn they were plastered.
A lonely old man from Botswana,
Went and married a three pound sultana,
They were different of course,
And this led to divorce,
He’s engaged now to a banana.
© 2018 MILES VENISON ALL RIGHTS RESERVED