“Okay, so, this is the final scene—Jane returns to the field where they found the treasure at the start of the movie. You can see the big tree there. So, we see her driving along the road here, and she has a new haircut, something shorter, so you know it has been a year since she escaped the Sunset Murderer. And she’s singing along with the music on the radio—she’s in a good place emotionally. Then she gets out of the car and goes over to the tree, and in her hands we see an urn. She’s bringing David and Lucy and Davinda’s ashes, to spread them under the tree. She spreads the ashes, and we see in the background the sun is going down. Then she gets a shovel—actually, yeah, she brought a shovel with her too—and she decides to dig near the tree and see if the treasure is still there, and as she’s digging, we see a silhouette coming up the hill behind her—the Sunset Murderer. Then we hear like a droning cello or something in the background, you know, for tension, and then fade to black.”
So ended my movie pitch to Rick Velmore of Red Roach Entertainment, the fifth largest film company in Australia. He stared curiously at my painting (see below) of the final scene and scratched his cheek.
“So… what do you think?” I asked.
He sat upright and cleared his throat. “Uh… okay. Well, honestly, it was a little predictable.”
I was not expecting to hear those words. They stung awfully. “Oh, okay,” I said. “Predictable. What, uh… what in particular was predictable?”
Rick leaned forward and folded his hands together on his desk. “Well, for one,” he said, “you called the killer the Sunset Murderer, and so every time it’s sunset, you know there’s a murder coming.”
“Right,” I said, looking at the ceiling and trying not to blink, lest I should squeeze the welling tears from my eyes.
“And a lot of it didn’t make sense,” he continued. “You’ve named two of the main characters David and Davinda. And they both get called Dave for short. It was confusing. And, I mean, look at the last scene there—Jane has her friends ashes. Why don’t their families have the ashes? And why are they all in one urn? And why is Jane scattering them at the big tree? That’s where they first encountered the killer. And now she’s digging for the treasure again? She knows it will summon the Sunset Murderer. How stupid is she? And how about when they discover the killer’s weakness is bright lights? Okay, sure, but then what? They never actually do anything with that information.” Rick shook his head. “I’m sorry… I don’t think it will work.”
I nodded, utterly dejected.
“Anyway… back to the interview,” said Rick. “The job is mainly receiving deliveries—unloading trucks, transporting goods around the lot, and some basic paperwork. You’ll be on a forklift most of the day. Does that sound all right?”
“Yeah, I can do that,” I said.
“Good. It’s a pretty good set up here. Monday to Friday, seven till four-thirty. Fridays are a half day. Some of the guys stick around and have a barbecue and a few beers Friday afternoon. You’re welcome to join. Do you have any questions?”
I shook my head.
“Okay then,” said Rick. “See Rachel in the office and she’ll get you set up with an I.D. and a parking permit, and I’ll see you Monday.”
I shook Rick’s hand, took my storyboard and paintings, and left the office.
Monday morning, I lost my job after nearly impaling a guy with the forklift. It turns out you need training and a special licence to drive one.
18″ x 36″ Acrylic on canvas
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