And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 4)

St Murray's Primary School. Oldham, England, 1987. “Back again, Deenis? Good heavens, most boys try to avoid the principal’s office, but you seem to hang around here like a stray mutt.” “I don’t mean to, sir. It’s just that I’m having trouble with some of the other boys.” “Oh, here we go again.” “Well, all... Continue Reading →

And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 3)

In the timid glow of my rental car’s stereo display I watched the night outside. It was dark—too hopeless even for stars. A sliver of moon now and then appeared through the drifting sea of clouds, painting a pale silver outline on the treetops. Behind the giant relic projector screen, the forest grew unchecked, as... Continue Reading →

And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 2)

Manchester Hospital, 1978. “Ah, just a minute sir, there’s an error here on the birth certificate. You’ve misspelled ‘Dennis’.” “That’s not a mistake, Doc. No son of mine will be called Dennis. Bloody poofter name. I want it just as I’ve written it there. Two Es, one N.” “But sir... you can’t call a child... Continue Reading →

And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 1)

 “Man’s most striking shortcoming is his eagerness to convince himself of nonsense. This is also his greatest strength.” —Elroy “Bubba” Fowpend   From diverse eyewitness accounts, unsteady video footage, police reports, second-hand gossip and my own hazy recollections, I have painstakingly reassembled the events of Rory’s fortieth-birthday weekend. It is what it is. I got... Continue Reading →

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