Humorous Stories by Miles Venison
A little over two hours later, Stan’s helicopter touched down in Australia’s capital city. He and Belinda exited the aircraft and walked over to where a large man wearing a black suit and dark sunglasses stood by a white Rolls Royce. The man held up his hand toward Belinda and shook his head. “She stays... Continue Reading →
During the limousine ride from the casino back to Stan’s office, Stan tried to prevent Belinda from quitting. “It’s not a big deal,” he said. “Okay, so I went off track a little, sure. The snail thing might not have been my best stuff, but I get that now. We’ll chalk that one up to... Continue Reading →
Stan stood at the podium and adjusted the microphone in front of him; the applause died down, and every eye fixed on him. Stan removed his mask, went to speak but then stopped. He put his hand to his mouth, paused, and then gave a solemn shake of his head. Everyone leaned forward in their... Continue Reading →
“Now,” said the woman on stage, as the audience quietened in anticipation, “we have twelve people up here with us, ready to get their vaccine booster and become, once again, fully vaccinated. Thanks to you, Mr Premier, these people will be protected from Covid-19. They will be able to see their children grow up to... Continue Reading →
As the press briefing’s opening song concluded and the audience members took their seats, a woman wearing a lab coat over her dress and a stethoscope around her neck marched onstage and stood at the podium. The lights dimmed. Sweet violins sounded over the loudspeakers, and the woman dressed as a doctor sang Louis Armstrong’s... Continue Reading →
Half an hour later, Stan and Belinda were riding in a stretch limousine to the casino for the daily press briefing. Belinda checked the schedule in her phone, while Stan stared out the window and sighed contentedly. City buildings rushed by. Empty businesses. Empty restaurants. Empty streets. The limo stopped at a red light. There... Continue Reading →
Stanley Berserkervich closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He felt the sweet, warm sunshine upon his face, as though God were descending from heaven to kiss his forehead. “Stan,” he imagined God saying, “I want you to save all the people. They have no hope but you. You are the best state premier in Australia.”... Continue Reading →
The great bull fled down the slope behind the farmhouse, past Mrs McGinley’s pumpkin patch, turning toward the big round hill where the willow tree grew, and then out across the little cornfield. His enormous frame was moving too fast to stop. By now, pale blue had seeped into the night sky and the smaller... Continue Reading →
A loud buzz disturbed Hector. He flicked his ears and shook his head. The buzzing quietened but remained. The air was cold. Dozens of tiny feet crawled upon his back. Hector looked up at the stars, then looked around him. He was standing at the bottom of the slope leading up to the farmhouse. He... Continue Reading →
The farmer put his hand on Esmerelda’s neck and shook the feed bucket in front of her nose. She stuck her head in the bucket and followed him. Hector shifted his hooves and grunted. Mr McGinley looked up and noticed the great bull there near the barn; he led Esmerelda quickly through the gate. Hector... Continue Reading →
In Search of Lost Marbles 