In the games room, we huddled together as Rory laid out the strategy for the final assault. Basically, the Rorys and I would turn left at the top of the stairs, while Ezra would go right. Then it was just a matter of killing everyone we encountered. “Castor oiler,” said Ezra. (It wasn’t “Castor... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 65)
Emergency Call Operator: Triple-O emergency, do you require Police, Fire and Rescue, or Ambulance? Caller: Uh… Police. Operator: And what state are you located in? Caller: Queensland. Operator: Please hold the line. Emergency Call Operator #2: Police. What is your emergency? Caller: [Away from phone] Nah, you can’t use my phone, I’m talking on it.... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 64)
After a deep breath, a quick prayer and a firm clench of my butt cheeks, I ran around the front corner of the shed and toward the house. The two Rorys were already there, one crouched at the door, the other standing at the window with his rifle poised. I joined the Rory crouching... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 63)
“I’ll run over and grab it,” said LaShawn. “No, hold on,” said Rory. “Something doesn’t feel right.” We stood at the back corner of the shed, looking out across the yard to where the suicidal clone had dropped the AK-47. It was a potent weapon, and precious. “Seriously,” said LaShawn. “I’ll be there and... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 62)
It was eerily quiet. No gunfire, no tractor tyre engine, no growling rottweiler, no yelling, no explosions. I sat with my back leaning against the shed. One of the clones sat hunched next to me; he did not look well. At the end of the shed the other Rory clone peeked his head around... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 61)
I followed LaShawn along the tunnel. It dipped and narrowed. Above us, the drumming cracks of machine gun fire ceased, leaving only the rumbling drone of the tractor tyre. LaShawn quickened his pace and began singing “Lump” by The Presidents of the United States of America. At the end of the tunnel, he... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 60)
Name: Edward Gordon Ping Age: 38 Sex: Male Length: 176cm Weight: 82kg Eyes: Brown Hair: Black Blood Type: O- Contents in Blood: Nil Marks and Wounds: Broken nose. Swelling below right eye. Ruptured right eardrum. Stab wounds and lacerations back and front of neck, upper chest and left shoulder. Broken left collar bone. Five bullet... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 59)
The tunnel levelled out and divided in three directions. We turned left and kept moving, as gunfire and the roar of Budgie’s tractor tyre grew louder above. A great thump, like a cannon firing, struck directly above us. The tunnel shuddered and the lights went out. “Run!” yelled LaShawn. I kept one hand on... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 58)
I followed Ezra across the hill—his dog had run off ahead of us (incidentally, up until then I hadn’t realised one of Ezra’s rottweilers was female. I thought since he named them after The Bee Gees they were all male). Through the trees I caught glimpses of flashing lights and fire and what I... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 57)
Warwick “Wazza” Merton: That was Queen there with “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”, here on 91.6. You’re listening to Jane and Wazza in the Morning, helping you to get through another dreaded Monday. [Scream sound effect.] Oh, come on, it’s not that bad. Jane Knead: Speak for yourself, Wazza. Wazza: Whoops! Looks like someone woke... Continue Reading →