In the games room, we huddled together as Rory laid out the strategy for the final assault. Basically, the Rorys and I would turn left at the top of the stairs, while Ezra would go right. Then it was just a matter of killing everyone we encountered. “Castor oiler,” said Ezra. (It wasn’t “Castor... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 61)
I followed LaShawn along the tunnel. It dipped and narrowed. Above us, the drumming cracks of machine gun fire ceased, leaving only the rumbling drone of the tractor tyre. LaShawn quickened his pace and began singing “Lump” by The Presidents of the United States of America. At the end of the tunnel, he... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 59)
The tunnel levelled out and divided in three directions. We turned left and kept moving, as gunfire and the roar of Budgie’s tractor tyre grew louder above. A great thump, like a cannon firing, struck directly above us. The tunnel shuddered and the lights went out. “Run!” yelled LaShawn. I kept one hand on... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 56)
A nearby burst of gunfire sent a family of cockatoos shrieking away into the night sky. In that moment, to my surprise and great relief, my mind became clear and focused on the job at hand. My bowels, in contrast, responded to the life-or-death situation by attempting an immediate evacuation. I managed just barely... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 54)
As a child I hated playing hide-and-seek. I would make excuses to avoid the game. When I couldn’t avoid it and was forced to play, I would always jump out from my hiding spot as soon as I heard the seeker approaching, rather than wait to be found. I never knew why. Crouched in... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 53)
We walked back along the tunnel, took a left turn and headed up a long, steep ramp. “So, what are the clones going to do?” I asked. “They’ll split up,” said LaShawn. “With them running around, it will confuse Jimmy O’Shea’s men—the clones might even kill a few of them. And, hopefully, they’ll keep... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 15)
A hundred and twenty-five kilometres an hour. Thoughts swirled in my head. A lot of questions. No answers. The music was so loud. LaShawn had spared no expense on his car stereo. Drummed his hands on the steering wheel in time to the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Sang along in falsetto. Always falsetto. Asked him... Continue Reading →
What Wakes the Rooster (Part 20)
Ivan saw Melvin approaching and puffed his chest. He stamped his feet and stood tall; he looked the size of a turkey. All the hens drew back, shielding their chicks under their wings. As Melvin marched into the arena, Sonny ran up alongside him. “Melvin, what are you doing?” he whispered. Melvin glanced down at... Continue Reading →
Drexel and the Ball (Part 3)
Drexel put down his bag of chips. The silence waited. He reached for the remote control and pointed it at the television. “Why did you pay three dollars for me?” said the basketball, from its position at the end of the couch. Drexel lowered the remote. He looked at the basketball. “What?” After a short... Continue Reading →
Poem: The Siege of Devil’s Pass
Way down south a long time ago, When folks were content and life moved slow, Was a place where a cactus wouldn't dare grow, And they called it Devil's Pass. Few people knew and even less cared, That out on that land where the ground was bare, A iron-willed family had built a house... Continue Reading →