Stories and Paintings
It is dark. A rumble, like that from a passing semi-trailer, jolts my spine. Distant echoes of a thunderclap trail off. Red stars dance above. A crack pierces the air; light flashes. I squeeze my eyes shut, then open them. My lungs strain for breath. Things take shape. Glistening raindrops dart at... Continue Reading →
Budgie’s return, less than twenty-four hours after infiltrating New Zealand’s worst prison, surprised us all. After a whirlwind of shouts, cheers, bear hugs and high fives, we gave him enough space to set his case down, take off his jacket and loose his flowing locks from the absurdly oversized man-bun he had worn on... Continue Reading →
After LaShawn talked me through the plan to overthrow New Zealand’s communist regime, he went back out to the shed to check on the brisket. In the games room, I played some pool by myself, and then had a look through Budgie’s record collection. Budgie reckoned you couldn’t truly appreciate a song unless you... Continue Reading →
When I was a child I loved going to Mr Herbert's music shop. It was filled with the most wonderful sounds. Saturday mornings I would go with my sister and ask Mr Herbert to show us a new instrument. He would play for us and then let us have a turn. Or he would just... Continue Reading →
It was a hot August night in Osaka. Mossy, myself and the rest of the band were back at the hotel room. Normally after a gig the room would be an orgy of drinking, feasting, dancing, sword fights, amateur dental surgery, impromptu taxidermy and half-naked circus folk, more often than not resulting in the arrest... Continue Reading →
Deep in the enchanted forest, nestled in the shimmering glade, was an elf village. Happily, and unbeknown to nearly all the other woodland creatures, the elves went about their daily business. In the morning they picked baskets full of melodious merryberries, then washed them in the sparkling harmony stream. The elves laid the glistening berries... Continue Reading →
"There's a pirate coming up the stairs," said Daz. "He's got a machine gun! Thirty seconds to contact!" "What are we going to do?" said Andy. "I can't stop a machine gun." Cam snapped his fingers. "Human Voltron," he said. "What?" said Andy. "Well, you can't stop a machine gun. Neither can I." "But together..."... Continue Reading →
If the other pirates were not alert to Drum's presence before, that grenade blast gave them the heads up. Drum knew he didn't have much time. He snuck alongside a tall platform at the ship's edge, and hurried along a narrow passage where a single steel guardrail was the only thing between him and a... Continue Reading →
Drum made a quick detour to the men's room. If video games had taught him anything, it was that enemies become more difficult to defeat the further you progress. Now just three foes stood between him and the final boss, Randy Van Funk, and he didn't want to face them with the added pressure of... Continue Reading →
Drum continued along the deck. He glanced around a corner and saw two pirates leaning against a shipping container, smoking a joint. They were Fluorescent Android's percussionist, Ziggy Krisp, and keytarist, Ramesh Cohen. Drum climbed up onto the container and moved with ninja stealth out above them. He took a small woodpecker from his sock,... Continue Reading →
