Stories and Paintings
Emergency Call Operator: Triple-O emergency, do you require Police, Fire and Rescue, or Ambulance? Caller: Uh… Police. Operator: And what state are you located in? Caller: Queensland. Operator: Please hold the line. Emergency Call Operator #2: Police. What is your emergency? Caller: [Away from phone] Nah, you can’t use my phone, I’m talking on it.... Continue Reading →
Warwick “Wazza” Merton: That was Queen there with “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”, here on 91.6. You’re listening to Jane and Wazza in the Morning, helping you to get through another dreaded Monday. [Scream sound effect.] Oh, come on, it’s not that bad. Jane Knead: Speak for yourself, Wazza. Wazza: Whoops! Looks like someone woke... Continue Reading →
Lyle Kelp loved dinosaurs. He thought they were the perfect creatures. Not triceratopses though. Jeez Louise, you didn’t want to be around when he launched into one of his anti-triceratops rants. But he loved the other dinosaurs. Lyle lived in Sinklewich, a town in the fair state of Obadiah. The governor of Obadiah got people... Continue Reading →
A major arrest took place in Brisbane, Australia, yesterday, with police special forces storming an apparent hideout of London crime kingpin, Jimmy “Biscuits” O’Shea. O’Shea was taken into custody along with gang member, Edward Ping. Police seized over a million dollars in cash, and a massive stockpile of weapons, including knives, automatic rifles, rocket... Continue Reading →
St Gavin’s Cathedral, Norwich, England, 29th May 1999. Two tuxedo-clad groomsmen discussing football, three flower girls admiring their own pink dresses, and a stressed out woman trying to fasten a bow tie to the collar of a squirming page boy occupied a small room to the side of the church entrance. The father of the... Continue Reading →
Five men were killed, and a police officer was wounded during a raid at Immingham Docks last night. The violence erupted as Police Special Forces intercepted a large drug shipment entering on a local fishing vessel. Reports say the boat’s crew immediately opened fire, and police responded with lethal force. No crew members survived the... Continue Reading →
Thoughts of a superhero.
