The Consultant (The Final Part)

"Fine," said Mr Nately, sitting down. "So you shoot dissenters, rape their daughters, maim their sons—" Josh wailed weakly "—and then there's the prisons. Oh man, the horror stories that come out of the prisons will scare anyone into line." "Prisons?" said the prime minister. "Oh yeah. You wait. Build 'em and let your guards... Continue Reading →

The Consultant (Part 3)

"Okay," said Mr Nately, nodding in thought. "Well, I assume you've been fighting your opposition on matters of policy—tax cuts, health care, immigration—all that sh**?" The prime minister nodded, taken aback somewhat at Mr Nately's flippancy. "Yeah," said Mr Nately. "Well you're wasting your time there. For the average Joe, one political party is as... Continue Reading →

The Consultant (Part 2)

Candace knocked on the door and entered the room; the prime minister stood, and so did Josh. "Prime Minister," said Candace, holding the door open, "may I introduce Mr Nately." Through the door walked a squat man in a grey pinstripe suit. Though he smiled warmly at Candace and nodded in thanks, there was something... Continue Reading →

The Consultant (Part 1)

Through the tall, open windows of the stately office, a glorious beam of morning sunshine flowed—the train of an angel's robe, a beacon of optimism in a bleak world, an oncoming headlight to scare man into the realisation that his days are few and life is worth living. Whatever the metaphor, it was as ignored... Continue Reading →

Book Review: Darkness at Noon

It seems communism is much like Samson from the bible—it killed a lot of people and left those it spared with a deep distrust and resentment toward it. My friend Neil is also like Samson, in that he has long hair and lives with his parents. But no one has written a book about Neil... Continue Reading →

Poem: Revolutionary

I slaughter today, that one day there may be peace, I steal today, so that someday all may share. I make the greatest sacrifice, I send you to your death, I free you from oppression, put a yoke upon your neck. You must go without today, that tomorrow there may be food, Trust in me,... Continue Reading →

Election 2024 (The Final Part)

There were no holds barred in the first debate between Todd Alderman and Inzamam Guevara. Alderman grilled Guevara about certain recent remarks he made. He was quoted as saying: "Anyone who supports Todd Alderman is sub-human. I would have no qualms literally incinerating such vermin. I mean that." Guevara insisted the comments were taken out... Continue Reading →

Election 2024 (Part 5)

The two presidential candidates were now chosen: in the red corner was Todd Alderman, and in the blue corner was Inzamam "Hotsauce" Guevara. The battle began. With both men drawing from seemingly bottomless campaign funds, voters were bombarded with advertising. Guevara introduced America to what he called "Cool Socialism", running television ads featuring big-name celebrities... Continue Reading →

Election 2024 (Part 4)

The third Democratic debate was a sellout—thanks to Inzamam Guevara. The person formerly known as Martin Guest had only revealed his new identity the previous day, yet he was already a superstar. His Twitter handle, @hotsauceguevara, had attracted seventy-three million followers overnight. He had also been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Aside from its political... Continue Reading →

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