I took a slice of cold pizza from the fridge and then joined Rory on the couch. “Wanna play?” he offered, gesturing to the extra video game controller on the coffee table. I picked up the controller and hit the start button. As Player 2 on the screen, I found myself dropped into a... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 35)
I wasn’t expecting you to write me back. Now I know I was right about you. You see things how they really are. You’ve accepted you could die at any moment. Most people go to absurd lengths to avoid that acceptance. I looked at the photograph of your painting. I don’t get it,... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 33)
I know it was you who tipped off the cops. That took some balls. No hard feelings, you did what you had to do. Prison is unpleasant. Eight years they gave me, but some influential people are in favour of my early release, so I’ll be out soon enough. Some of my competitors... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 29)
Budgie’s return, less than twenty-four hours after infiltrating New Zealand’s worst prison, surprised us all. After a whirlwind of shouts, cheers, bear hugs and high fives, we gave him enough space to set his case down, take off his jacket and loose his flowing locks from the absurdly oversized man-bun he had worn on... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 23)
LaShawn listened with neither a word nor a judgmental look for ten minutes while I expressed my bamboozlement and displeasure. I marched about the living room, frustration causing my arms to flail and my voice to reach shrieking pitch at least thrice (that’s one, Rory). At the end of my miserable tirade, LaShawn just... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 22)
I sat there beside the shed in increasing panic, staring at my right foot. It was smurf blue. My shoe and sock were removed—how and to where I didn’t know—and my pants were cut off at an angle, just above my ankle. They were perfectly cut, too—not a frayed thread. The skin on my... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 5)
After Rory’s prison escape, we drove to his uncle’s house, where we caught a few hours’ sleep. Uncle Des woke us at six, and we dined on toasted cheese sandwiches. (Rory ate six of them and kept raving about how good they were. They were okay; Rory had barely eaten in five weeks, so anything... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 3)
In the timid glow of my rental car’s stereo display I watched the night outside. It was dark—too hopeless even for stars. A sliver of moon now and then appeared through the drifting sea of clouds, painting a pale silver outline on the treetops. Behind the giant relic projector screen, the forest grew unchecked, as... Continue Reading →
And There Was Ninja Moustache (Chapter 1)
“Man’s most striking shortcoming is his eagerness to convince himself of nonsense. This is also his greatest strength.” —Elroy “Bubba” Fowpend From diverse eyewitness accounts, unsteady video footage, police reports, second-hand gossip and my own hazy recollections, I have painstakingly reassembled the events of Rory’s fortieth-birthday weekend. It is what it is. I got... Continue Reading →
A Slow March (The Final Part)
The sky is blue today. Leafy trees, just taller than myself, line the path. Eight months of the year they are bare, arching over like claws. Now they are lush and green. One month a year they flower. Now they are in full bloom. Wide, open stars of deep red. Around me, men are either... Continue Reading →