Humorous Stories by Miles Venison
Earl Olsen was the wisest kid at my high school. Not the smartest. That title belonged to either Sophie Connor or Daniel Redman. No one could say for sure which. They were both straight-A students. Sophie was creepily gifted at public speaking; she captained the debate team and was always giving speeches at assembly. Whenever... Continue Reading →
After a twenty-minute drive out of the city, followed by another ten bumpy minutes along a dirt track through bushland, Gavin and Stan arrived at Gavin’s Stealth Helicopter Solutions. The company headquarters was just an old tow truck parked next to a creek. On the back of the truck was a dilapidated Squirrel helicopter, spraypainted... Continue Reading →
Stan raced from the building and jumped in his car. “To my brother’s house. Now!” he yelled at the driver. At once the car sped off through the busy streets. In fifteen minutes, Stan arrived in front of his brother’s house. He got out of the car and ran up the front steps, wearing only... Continue Reading →
The next few weeks were hard for Stan. The announcement that he would be considering a proposed move to potentially assess the possibility of lifting the state mask mandate in the near future was not as well received as he had hoped. He was ridiculed on social media, with people accusing him of doing “too... Continue Reading →
After a minute, the darkness lifted as light filled the vast underground cavern. It was empty but for Stan, Gary and Les, who had returned to the table. “Happy, boys?” said Les. Stan and Gary nodded. “Good. Then the meeting is officially closed.” Gary’s face lit up, and he leaned forward in his seat. “Hang... Continue Reading →
Stan and Gary waited in the glow of the candle. Quiet whispers hissed nearby; Stan peered around into the darkness but saw nothing. He turned to Gary. “What happens now?” Gary looked down at his hands fidgeting with his robes. He shook his head. “I don’t know. I just want it to be over already.... Continue Reading →
Les heaved his immense, doughy buttocks up onto the table and sat near Stan and Gary. He sighed and wiped his sweaty forehead. “You two have made things difficult. Do you know why you have made things difficult?” Stan and Gary stared straight ahead and kept silent. “I’ll explain it for you,” said Les. “You... Continue Reading →
The stone stairs continued around and around, down below ground, growing narrower and narrower, until the sleeves of Stan’s robe dragged against the wall with each step. Finally, the two men reached the last stair and came out into a vast black space. Ahead of them, a single candlestick burned brightly upon a round stone... Continue Reading →
Security officers escorted the media from the property, and then informed the prime minister he was no longer on camera. Gary stood up and brushed himself off. “Yes, that went quite well, I think.” “The main thing is that people are safe from Covid,” said Stan. Gary chuckled. “Yeah, okay.” The two leaders shook hands... Continue Reading →
Downstairs in front of the press, Stan waffled on. “…and that’s why masks should be worn by children from birth. I know some people have said that seems cruel, but the idea of ‘cruel’ has never really bothered me. Not when Covid is wreaking havoc. Not when we have the chance to train children in... Continue Reading →
In Search of Lost Marbles 